Divorce is one of life’s most emotionally and financially disruptive events. The cost can feel like an impossible hurdle. Many people in this situation find themselves overwhelmed by a single, defeating thought: I can’t afford this. But what if that thought isn’t the end of the conversation, but the beginning of a smarter, more empowered approach? Let’s talk about how to finance your divorce without letting fear or finances stop you cold.
Change Your Mindset Before You Change Your Budget
Before we talk spreadsheets, let’s talk headspace. If your brain has been echoing “I can’t afford it,” you’re not alone, but you’re also not stuck. The path to affording a divorce doesn’t start in your wallet. It starts in your thinking.
Here’s the truth: “I can’t afford it” often hides what we really mean, like “I’m scared,” “I don’t know how,” or “This feels overwhelming.” All of those are valid. But none of them mean you’re doomed.
Instead of defaulting to scarcity, try flipping the script with questions like:
- What’s truly non-negotiable for me and my kids?
- Where have I made financial pivots in the past?
- Who or what can I learn from right now?
- What if I choose to afford this because my future matters?
Mindset is your first investment. When you start thinking like someone who is figuring it out instead of someone who is falling behind, solutions reveal themselves. Confidence builds. You stop asking whether you can afford it and start planning how you will.
When “I Can’t Afford It” Is Actually True
There are genuine moments when financial restraint isn’t just wise, it’s essential. If you’re unable to pay for housing, utilities, medical care, or other essentials like food, shelter and safety for you and your children then yes, it’s time to pause and prioritize immediate survival over long-term plans. These are not just budget issues; they are emergency signals. But outside of these truly urgent scenarios, most “I can’t afford it” statements can be reframed and resolved with the right strategy, support, and a measure of courage.
Your Practical Playbook for Affording Divorce
Below are battle-tested, brass-tacks ideas I share with clients to shrink divorce costs and free up cash for your new life:
1. Build a Divorce Budget (Separate from Your Old Household Budget)
Track every dollar. List new housing costs, kids’ extracurriculars, etc. Seeing the whole picture in black and white stops panic and shows exactly where to cut, for example, downgrading the cable package or pausing luxury gym memberships while proceedings are pending.
2. Consider Mediation First
In a sea of legal expenses, mediation is a life raft. A good family law mediator can help you and your spouse hammer out property, support, and parenting plans for a fraction of the cost of litigation. Even if you still want legal advice, you can hire an attorney to review the final agreement instead of running up full-scale litigation fees.
3. Be Honest About Your Financial Situation Early
Whether you’re working with an attorney or a mediator, it’s important to be upfront about your financial situation from the start. Many professionals offer different structures or resources depending on your needs, such as flexible payment arrangements or guidance on limiting costs.
4. Court Fee Waivers and Payment Plans Are Available
Most states offer court fee waivers for individuals with limited income, and many courts allow payment plans or deferred payment options. These can ease the immediate financial burden of filing fees.
5. Ask the Court for Need-Based Fee Awards
California law aims to ensure that both parties in a divorce have equal access to legal representation. If a disparity exists, the court should typically award sufficient fees to allow the disadvantaged spouse to retain counsel before, during, or even after the trial.
No one drifts through divorce saying, “Wow, this is cheaper than I thought.” But you can navigate the process without torching your savings or your sanity if you replace “I can’t afford it” with “How can I afford it wisely?” Whether that means mediation instead of litigation or leveraging court assistance, the choices are in your hands.
Choose well, plan boldly, and keep the joy alive. Your next chapter is worth the investment.
Speak With a Divorce Lawyer Today
If you need a divorce lawyer near Orange County or Los Angeles , contact Jafari Law and Mediation Office for a consultation. Let us provide you with the legal support, guidance, and advocacy you need during this challenging time.